Pinterest seems to enjoy calling a girl out regarding her age. Some of the pins cruising across my board are mocking me and my decrepit old body. Don’t believe me? Take a look at these:
Fancy Pantries: How can a pantry remind me of my advanced years? Well, only old ladies (rather… rich old ladies) can afford a pantry like this. This one makes me drool. Organization really is sexy to the over 40 set.
Nurseries: Oh look a sweet beautiful trendy nursery. When I had my babies we didn’t have the money for the hip things like rugs or pom pom curtains. My youngest is almost 10, so thanks Pinterest for daily reminders of my uterus and the CLOSED FOREVER sign hanging there.
Over 40 Haircuts: When you search “over 40 hairstyles” this beyotch keeps showing up.
The reality of this haircut?
This hair is more Toni Tennile in the muskrat suzy years than sexy cougar. If you remember that song you are old too. Welcome to the party, we serve cocktails at 4 and hit the grey hair special by 5.
Bunk Rooms: I am inexplicably drawn to pins of bunk rooms. One day it dawned on me, I am planning for my retirement home and grandchildren Screw you Pinterest.
Crap That Requires the prophylactic use of pain killers: You got excited because I use the word PROPHYLACTIC didn’t you. I am actually talking about the need to pop a motrin or vodka soda before you do the following:
Aren’t they pretty? I can’t walk for days after I wear anything but an orthopedic nurse shoe.
Tennis anyone? Dope up ladies because over 40 requires some great meds and hours of stretching to stay on the courts.
Feeling frisky? Careful, you could pull something.
Pinterest, I get it. I am not the young hot thing you are targeting. You don’t need to rub it in. It would be great if you could stop posting pictures like this. It’s not fair to the old ladies. I would say it’s cruel to post pictures of these young handsome devils.
Oh. He’s only two years younger than I am? Carry on Pinterest. Carry. On.