Scene: Kitchen. Oldest son is having breakfast before school. Mother, no coffee and barely awake. Son eating sugar coma awful cereal and talking with his mouth full, because the cotillion classes were obviously a waste of money.
Middle School Son: “Did Dad give you some love last night?”
Mother: *dumbstruck, followed by nausea and then silently screaming SHIT SHIT SHIT in my head*
Middle School Son: “Oh, wait, Oh I think I know what that means.”
Mother: “Dude, you just asked me if Dad and I got it on last night, like you know, sex.”
Middle School Son: “OH..NO..OH Sorry, I meant like a hug since you had a hard day.”
This my friends is called a teachable moment. A moment when I went over all the terms used for sex with my 14 year old son. It was the quickest I have ever seen him get dressed and out the door for school in all of his many years. Tomorrow we plan on tackling STD’s. My guess is he’ll be ready for school and at the bus stop by 6am.