Last week I had a data dump about how people treat my oldest child. My family always flips out when I post these kind of updates. They worry someone has hurt the Old Soul or his mother. It is never one incident or person that pushes me over the edge, pushing me to put my thoughts to paper (or blog). Sometimes I just need to get it out of my head so I can sleep, so I can move on, so I can verbalize my frustration and give my heart a break from the burden.
As mothers we carry every heartache of our children. We carry their frustration and fears. As a Mother there are days that I want to roar, pull out those gnashing teeth and razor sharp claws and make everything better for them. Of course this is unrealistic and I am not doing them any favors if I pick them up every time they fall. I have struggled with this since my first child was a toddler. When he was still not walking at 18 months (well not walking “well” anyway) our Doctor sat me down and sweetly told me I had to stop carrying him around. My doctor looked me in the eye and told me it was time to put him down and let him fall. I have been going against every instinct since then and letting my children fall and learn and grow. Inside my head I am roaring through the process, fighting my urge to be that mother bear and protect them. There are days I wonder – “Am I doing my job right?”- because as we all know making human beings is damn hard.
Last week a friend commented that I should Roar On! So I will. I am adding a Mother Roar segment each week where I (and hopefully all of you) will share the struggles and joys of being a parent. It’s a place where we can share what is roaring around in our heads and know there are others here to understand. I am a mother to three very different people so the topics here will be random, maybe sad, probably crazy and once in a while hopefully pretty damn funny.
So I’ll see you here next Thursday for our first Mother Roar.